Needwood

Year opened: 1969

Architect: Lindsay Ervin

Web: www.montgomerycountygolf.com/NW_home.html

Phone: (301) 948-1075

Another no-frills offering from the Montgomery County Revenue Authority, I don’t mind this one too much. The parking lot is always crowded so there is always that dread of realization that you’re in for a wait, which you will be, no question. The pro shop sits on edge of a hill and when you come around back to check in, you at least get the feeling of a golf course. Some nice decorative grasses, a few pine trees and a hedge separate the pro shop from the putting green. But mostly you have a bunch of golfers milling around impatiently, like the sex-hungry cub scouts in Woody Allen’s “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex”. That’s a particularly disquieting analogy…I think I might want to tweak my meds a bit or at the very least show a little more get-up and go during my online porn gambits, now that my girl has cut me off from the occasional sexual dalliance.

Note the name of the architect, Lindsay Ervin, and remember it well since he has designed some of the Metro DC area’s premier courses and will be mentioned on this site in rather hushed and reverential tones in the future. Clearly this was his first project and Needwood certainly lacks the boldness and scope of his later work, but the holes flow nicely along and nothing seems forced except for the odd 17^th, a short strange par 4 that has since been converted to a three-par, no doubt to protect the golfers on the 16^th green from sprayed tee shots.

I like the starter with his chalkboard - writing, circling, erasing with a damp towel, crossing names off – and always with a pensive look on his face, as if he’s re-defining the formula for absolute zero or something. What I don’t like is the honking horde of geese on the course – it’s a goddam goose feces-fest out here. You might want to bring a shit shovel to clear your line on any pond-side putting greens, it’s that bad. Either that or you’re gonna have a pretty funked-up putter.

A decent starting hole gets things going - a par 4 dogleg left, with a lake left, some willow trees beyond the lake and an uphill second to a large bunkered green. The lake is not in play and there is plenty of room to place your drive as long as you don’t go left into the trees.

Needwood has a wide open front nine without a whole lot going on, followed by a much tighter, more challenging back side with some ponds, a few dramatic cliff-side tee shots, a hillside bulls-eye target for the unseen green of #16, and a sturdy finishing hole. Most of the greens are pretty nicely defined - either flanked by trees or sand traps. Some of the greens are elevated; others are set considerably below the fairway, giving you a variety of looks. The tee shots are pretty mundane, except for the 2^nd, the 13^th and 14^th holes, where you are hitting from well above the fairway. There are hardly any fairway bunkers and the conditioning is so-so. Obviously, with all the cars in the lot, the course is a bit crowded, but it moves along at a reasonable clip, reasonable compared to, let’s say…standing in line for tags and title at the MVA, or waiting to activate your new iPhone at the Apple store.

And lest I be remiss, I’ve got to mention that Needwood is where I posted my first ever birdie – a curving downhill 15-footer on the par 3 7^th, which I’m sure I attacked with some sort of fairway wood – but truth be known, anything over 155 and I’ll be pulling some sort of club requiring a head cover…what a pussy I am. Hey, you are what you eat. I guess in that case I must be an Italian cold-cut sub.

The 17^th, formerly a par 4 but now a throw-away par 3, is weak, though again, the green is nicely defined with bunkers in front and a cluster of pine trees behind. The signature hole, and the hardest, is the 18^th, with a nice willow guarding the middle-right side of the fairway about 180 yards out, leaving you a downhill lie on your second across a goose-filled lake. This is a real golf hole and will definitely bring double-bogey in play if you are in a tight match. Some might consider the pond-carry par three 15^th to be the signature hole and it’s OK, though the ever-present geese are certainly irksome. A few years back, a stolen car was found submerged in this pond, so you have that scrap of local hooliganism to ponder as you pick your club. The best chance for birdie is either of the back-to-back short par 5s on the front side or hole #8, a short par 4 (less than 310 yards) with a deep bunker fronting the green angled to the right. On the back side you can find some opportunity with the short 14^th – which has a super-elevated tee, followed by a benign uphill approach.

If the regulation course is super-packed, you can always try the pretty nice executive 9, which has a moundy, fescued links feel on the par 4s and a few par 3’s over ponds. Not a bad place to work on the irons at all.

I give this one about 4.5. There is enough variety to keep you thinking, but it’s not particularly challenging and it can take awhile to play once you even get your name on the board. I certainly like it more than Falls Road, Northwest, Laytonsville and Poolesville, but that's not a very high bar there.